I need to live a life. Even without him. –Liana
Liana
I didn’t mean to fall asleep.
But when I opened my eyes, the sun was already climbing up the wall, and my body felt like it had been dropped from a height.
My first breath hurt. My chest felt tight.
Third day. Fourth. Fifth?
Six.
I was on the couch. Didn’t want to sleep on our bed without him.
I reached for my phone. The screen was black. I tapped it. No messages. No calls.
Just the same empty thread.
I stared at it.
My stomach twisted. I turned off the screen and rolled over, pulling the blanket over my head.
It didn’t help.
I could still hear the silence.
There was a knock at the door.
I didn’t move.
The second knock was louder.
Then I heard a familiar voice through the door.
“Liana. Open up or I swear I’m picking the lock.”
I dragged myself up.
Alex stood on the doorstep with a paper bag and a look that said she wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“You look like roadkill,” she said, stepping in.
“Thanks,” I croaked.
“Eat,” she said, handing me a breakfast sandwich. “And sit down.”
I obeyed.
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
I didn’t touch the food.
Alex finally set down her coffee and said, carefully, “Still no word?”
I shook my head.
The tears were already rising. I bit the inside of my cheek. Hard.
“He said he’d be back,” I whispered. “But he didn’t say when. He didn’t say anything. Just… be good.”
Alex was quiet.
“That doesn’t sound like goodbye,” she said eventually.
“Doesn’t it?” My voice cracked. “He didn’t even say I love you.”
Alex reached across the table, covered my hand with hers.
“You think he doesn’t care because he didn’t tell you. But Elias doesn’t treat you like everyone else, Liana. That’s why he didn’t say anything. Not because you’re disposable. But because you’re not.”
I looked at her, eyes stinging.
“Then why did it feel like he left me without looking back?”
She exhaled. “Because he knew if he looked back, he wouldn’t go. And he had to. That’s how he loves. Recklessly. Completely. And when he thinks it might break you, he keeps it inside.”
I broke.
Not loud. Not messy.
Just… shattered.
The tears came hard and fast, and I couldn’t breathe around them.
Alex got up and pulled me into her arms. I buried my face in her shoulder, sobbing like a child.
I didn’t know how long we stayed like that. Minutes. Maybe more.
But eventually, the crying stopped.
And I was still here.
I lay curled on the couch, head in Alex’s lap, staring at nothing.
“I can’t wait like this anymore,” I said quietly. “I need to do something. Even if it hurts. Even if he doesn’t come back.”
She brushed my hair back gently.
“Then we start today.”
I nodded.
He wasn’t here to hold me.
But I was still here.
And that had to count for something.
