Saving Her Broke Me (ch.79-83) 

Chapter 79: Have me (nsfw)

That felt too good. –Elias

Elias

She nodded. Just once.

But that one nod, it cracked something open in me.

I reached for her face, gently brushing her cheek with my knuckles, searching her eyes one last time. She looked back at me without flinching. Not scared. Not uncertain. Just… ready.

Ready for me.

I kissed her.

Slow and deep at first, but it didn’t stay slow for long. Her hands curled into my chest, her mouth opening to meet mine with a need that made my whole body tense.

She wasn’t just letting this happen.
She wanted it.

I picked her up again, like I had a hundred times before, but this time was different. 

This time, there was no pretending it was just comfort.

This time, I needed all of her.

I laid her gently on the bed, kissing her lips, her jaw, the hollow of her throat. 

Her breath was already shaky, her body shifting beneath mine.

“Tell me if anything feels wrong,” I murmured.

She nodded, biting her lip, eyes wide and fixed on me.

I slid the straps of her top off her shoulders, slowly, reverently, letting it fall.

She gasped. I did too.

She was beautiful.

Not just her body—though fuck, her body was perfect—but the way she looked up at me. Unshielded. Open. Trusting.

“Liana,” I breathed. “You’re—god, you’re everything.”

Her hands reached for me, sliding beneath my shirt. 

I let her take it off, watching her fingers tremble. 

She touched my chest like it was the first time. soft, slow, learning me. 

And I let her.

I kissed down her chest, her stomach, watching her twist beneath me, her breath catching in quiet little gasps that made my blood thrum.

I kissed lower.

Her hips jerked slightly, thighs tensing when I nudged them apart.

“Let me taste you,” I said softly, watching her face.

She hesitated for half a second. then nodded, cheeks burning.

I kissed the inside of her thighs first. Slowly. Reverently. 

She was already slick, swollen, the scent of her making my brain fog.

I licked once, just a teasing glide up the center, and her whole body jumped.

“Elias—” she gasped, hands fisting the sheets.

I groaned into her.

She was sweet and soft and so damn responsive, every twitch and gasp like a reward. 

I took my time, licking slowly, tracing her with my tongue like I was memorizing her. 

When I sucked gently on her clit, her thighs clamped around my head and she moaned so loud it nearly undid me.

I didn’t stop.

I slid a finger inside her, shallow and slow, letting her adjust to the stretch. 

Her body clenched around me like she didn’t know what to do with the feeling.

“You’re doing so well,” I murmured against her. “So perfect.”

She whimpered, hips lifting toward my mouth. 

I gave her more, tongue and finger, pressure and rhythm, until she was trembling under me, her hands reaching for anything to hold.

“Elias—oh god—I—”

Her back arched. Then she shattered.

A broken cry escaped her lips, her whole body convulsing as the orgasm tore through her. 

I didn’t stop until the tremors eased, until her hands fell limp against the sheets.

When I looked up, her chest was heaving, eyes glassy.

She looked wrecked.
Beautiful.
Mine.

When I slid my fingers between her legs again, she arched into me immediately.

“You’re soaked,” I whispered.

Her cheeks flushed. 

Fuck.

I kissed her again, deeper this time, and positioned myself between her thighs.

“Are you sure?” I asked one last time.

She didn’t hesitate.

“Yes.”

Chapter 80: All the Way–Almost (nsfw)

I want all of you. –Liana

Liana

I was trembling. But not from fear.

I’d never wanted anything like this. Never even thought I could.

But the way he touched me, like I was breakable and holy and his all at once…
It made me ache.

“Breathe,” he whispered against my neck as he kissed his way down. “Let your body open for me.”

I nodded, my thighs already parting as if they knew before I did.

I felt his length against me, hard and hot and terrifying.

I looked down.
Then immediately looked away.

He was… big.

I didn’t have a frame of reference, but this felt impossible.

“Elias,” I whispered. “I don’t know if it’ll fit.”

His gaze softened instantly. “We go slow. As slow as you need.”

He kissed me again, soft, reassuring, grounding. Then he pressed forward, guiding himself with one hand, the other gripping my waist like he was holding back the earth.

I felt him—thick, hot, and real—stretching me open slowly.

Then—

Pain.

It wasn’t sharp. It was a slow burn, like something tearing from the inside. 

A deep, foreign ache that made my entire body stiffen.

I sucked in a breath, my hands flying up to clutch his shoulders.

“Liana.” His voice changed instantly, tight, alert, worried.
He pulled back just a little, one hand cupping my face. “Too much?”

I nodded quickly, lips trembling. I couldn’t even find my voice.

He stopped. Froze in place. Not even breathing hard anymore. Just still.

I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes.

He didn’t speak for a moment.
He just kissed me, soft, slow, over and over. My cheeks. My temple. My forehead.

“You’re still a virgin,” he whispered, realization settling in his voice like guilt. “God, I forgot…”

I managed a small nod. “I didn’t think it would hurt like this…”

“It’s not your fault,” he murmured, his thumb stroking my cheek. “You’re okay. We can stop. Right now. Say the word.”

But I didn’t want to stop.

I was just scared. My body was scared.
But my heart wasn’t.

“I don’t want to stop,” I whispered. “Just… slower. Please.”

His eyes burned as he nodded. “As slow as you need.”

He kissed me again, steadier this time. 

I let my legs fall open a little more, breathed through the tension, and tried to relax.

He didn’t rush.

He moved inch by inch, pausing each time I winced, waiting until I nodded before going further. The sting came and went in waves. painful, yes, but bearable.

Eventually, he was halfway in.

No more.

I could feel how much he was holding back, how much he wanted to move. 

But he didn’t. He stayed there, pressed against me, forehead resting against mine.

“You feel so good,” he whispered, voice ragged. “So fucking tight. But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not,” I said, even as I blinked back another tear. “I just… I can’t take it all yet.”

He nodded. Kissed me again, deeper now. Slower.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “We don’t have to go all the way tonight. Just this is enough.”

And it was.

Because even if we didn’t finish… he was already inside me.
And I’d never felt closer to anyone in my life.

Elias

She was trembling underneath me, but she wasn’t pulling away.

I was barely halfway in.

I could feel every inch of her around me. tight, hot, perfect.

But I could also feel how hard she was trying to take me.

I wasn’t going to let her hurt herself for me.

So I stopped moving. And just held her.

“You’re inside me,” she whispered, almost in awe.

“Yeah,” I said softly, kissing her temple. “I am.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I let my weight rest against her gently, burying my face into the crook of her shoulder.

I didn’t need to finish.

This was already everything.

Chapter 81: After (Almost)

You are so damn tight. –Elias

Liana

I woke up sore.

Not the good kind of sore you brag about at the gym.

The kind that made my thighs ache, my lower back twinge, and my whole body feel like it had been stretched just a little past its limit.

I tried to sit up and nearly collapsed right back into the sheets.

My legs wobbled. My core tightened. My face caught fire.

Oh my god.

We actually did that. We didn’t finish, but—

I’d let him inside me.
I’d felt him.
And even though it hadn’t gone all the way, I felt different.

My whole body felt… claimed.

I shifted again, groaning under my breath.

A low chuckle came from beside me.

I turned and found Elias already awake, propped on one elbow, watching me like I was the most fascinating thing on earth.

“Morning,” he said, voice still rough with sleep.

I opened my mouth. Closed it. Then croaked, “Hi.”

His eyes softened. He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “You okay?”

I nodded quickly. “Sore.”

“I can tell.” He smirked. “Want me to carry you to the kitchen?”

I glared weakly. “Don’t even joke.”

“I wasn’t.” He stood up, already tugging on sweatpants. “Breakfast?”

My stomach flipped.

He was shirtless. Glorious. Muscles shifting under skin as he stretched.

I buried my face in his pillow. “Yeah,” I mumbled. “Breakfast sounds good.”

Ten minutes later, I sat at the kitchen table, watching him flip an egg like he’d been doing it forever.

He was humming. Barefoot, shirtless, messy-haired Elias cooking me breakfast.

My brain could barely handle it. I mean, how was this real?

This wasn’t just the guy who rescued me.
This wasn’t just the man who held me when I broke.
This was Elias.

And last night… I touched the inside of my thigh, wincing slightly.

Yeah. Definitely not a dream.

I must’ve been staring, because he turned, plate in hand, and raised an eyebrow.

“Did I forget the salt or are you just undressing me with your eyes again?”

I nearly choked on my coffee.

Elias

She ate slow, like she was still trying to figure out if this was real life or not.

I didn’t rush her. Just sat across from her, letting the quiet be comfortable.

Her hair was still messy. Her cheeks still flushed. She looked like she belonged here.

Like waking up to her could actually be a thing.

When we finished, she glanced toward the door, biting her lip.

“Need to head back?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Alex might be…”

“Waiting?” I smirked. “Planning a parade?”

She groaned. “Oh god.”

Liana

The car ride back was quiet, but in the soft kind of way.

He kept glancing at me when he thought I wasn’t looking.

I caught him once. He grinned.

I smiled back, cheeks aching from how long I’d been holding it in.

At my front door, I hesitated.

“Tonight?” he asked.

I lifted one shoulder. “Maybe.”

He leaned in, kissed my forehead, and murmured, “Text me when you stop walking funny.”

I smacked his arm, laughing.

He laughed too. But then he stayed there a beat longer, just looking at me like I was something he didn’t quite believe he got to have.

I kissed his cheek.

Then opened the door.

Alex

“YOU DID IT!”

I barely had time to blink before Alex’s voice exploded across the room.

She jumped off the couch like she’d been spring-loaded, eyes wide, grinning like a feral cat.

“Wha—how—” I sputtered.

“I knew it! I felt it! The air was different this morning!”

“Oh my god.” I tried to walk past her. Bad idea.

I winced.

She saw.

“OH MY GOD.” She gasped theatrically. “YOU’RE WALKING FUNNY.”

“Alex—”

“No, no, no. Don’t you dare shut me out now. Spill.”

“I—I don’t—”

“Liana.”

I sighed. Sat down. Then whispered, “We didn’t go all the way.”

That shut her up for exactly three seconds.

Then she leaned in, eyes bright. “Too big?”

I nodded slowly.

Her smile turned downright evil. “I knew it.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed. “I want to. I really do. But it just—didn’t fit.”

Alex nodded sagely, like she was accepting a challenge. “Don’t worry. There are ways.”

My mouth dropped open. “What?”

“Stretching. Training. Positioning. Lube. Patience. Also—”

“Alex, stop!”

She cackled. “Sweetheart,” she said, patting my knee, “I’m gonna help you fuck your boyfriend properly if it kills me.”

I covered my face and screamed into my hands.

Chapter 82: Stretch

Next time… –Liana

Liana

I couldn’t sleep.

Not because of the pain. 

though, to be fair, my legs were still sore and every time I moved, I was painfully aware of muscles I didn’t even know existed.

It was my brain that wouldn’t shut up. Because all I could think about was last night.

Elias above me, holding me like I might break.
His voice in my ear, low and trembling “You’re so fucking tight.”

I groaned and buried my face in my pillow. “God…”

Then sat up and punched it once. Useless, stupid pillow.

“Why am I so… tight?” I muttered to no one.

It wasn’t like I was trying to be.

I flopped onto my back and grabbed my phone, fingers hovering over the search bar.

I typed: what to do if your boyfriend is too big

Then deleted it.

Typed again: how to not be so tight down there

Deleted.

Typed: help please I love him but my vagina is a door with no hinges

Before I could hit search, there was a knock.

Then Alex’s voice, suspiciously chipper.

“Open up, virgin goddess. I brought strawberries.”

She strolled in like she owned the place, bowl of fruit in hand and that look on her face.

The I-know-exactly-what-you’re-panicking-about look.

I threw a blanket over myself even though I was in pajamas.

Alex plopped down on the bed next to me and popped a strawberry into her mouth.

“So,” she said between chews, “you want to stretch yourself, or you want him to do it?”

I nearly choked on air. “W-What?!”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “You said it didn’t fit, right? That’s like… day one of the ‘Big Dick Dilemma’ starter pack.”

My entire face combusted. “I didn’t say— You— That’s not— I don’t know what I’m doing, okay?!” My voice cracked embarrassingly on the last word.

Alex, surprisingly gentle now, handed me a strawberry.

“Okay. Real talk. Do you want to go all the way with him?”

I nodded, eyes down.

“And do you want to wait till your body just figures it out, or do you want to help it along?”

I took a deep breath. “…Help it. I want to be ready next time.”

Alex grinned like she’d won a game. “Perfect. I’ve got supplies.”

She reached into her oversized tote and pulled out a tiny bottle of lube… and something else.

Something small. Smooth. Cylindrical. About the size of a thick pen.

“This,” she said proudly, “is your starter.”

My jaw dropped. “What the hell is that?!”

“It’s a trainer,” she said, like it was obvious. “You warm up. Gently. A few minutes a night. Think of it like stretching before a workout.”

“But Elias is way… bigger than that. How can I —” I cut myself off, mortified.

“Sweetheart. Nobody goes straight to boss level without training. You start small, build trust with your body, and eventually”, she held up the bottle of lube, “with some patience and a lot of this, you’ll be ready for your six-three-something Greek statue.”

“Alex!”

“Don’t yell at me, I’m giving you tools.”

“I’ve never even touched myself!”

Alex’s grin softened. “Okay. First of all, breathe. Nobody’s asking you to shove it in like a tampon from hell.”

I covered my face. “I cannot believe we’re having this conversation.”

“Believe it. You’ve officially entered the self-care chapter of your love story,” she said, gently prying my fingers away. “Now. Lube the tip. Like… generously. Think ‘slippery otter’ levels.”

I gave her a look. “What kind of metaphors are you even—”

“Stay with me.” She pointed to the smooth trainer. “Lie back. Knees bent. Take a few deep breaths. And then… just rest it there. Let your body get used to the weight before you go any deeper.”

I blinked. “That’s it?”

She nodded. “You’re not trying to win an award. This isn’t porn. It’s trust. You’re teaching your body that nothing bad’s going to happen.”
Then she smirked. “Eventually, it’ll start asking for more. That’s when you level up.”

I groaned. “Why does this feel more embarrassing than actual sex?”

“Because it’s just you. No distraction. No hot man. No adrenaline. Just you and your overthinking brain.”
Alex stood and handed me the bottle. “But hey, if you can get through this, you can definitely handle Elias, someday.”

I buried my face in the pillow again. “Worst pep talk ever.”

She winked. “You’ll thank me later. Probably while you’re screaming into his neck.”

That night, I sat cross-legged on my bed with the blanket pulled up to my chin.

The little tube of lube sat on my nightstand, judging me.

The trainer Alex gave me rested next to it, still in its plastic sleeve, looking way too innocent for the chaos it was about to cause in my nervous system.

I wasn’t sure if I can do it. 

So I picked up my phone again, searched: how to use a vaginal dilator first time

I ended up on a blog with way too many diagrams.

Scrolled.

Scrolled more.

Clicked on a video.

Watched ten seconds and nearly threw my phone across the room.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered.

But then I thought about Elias.

His face above me. 

The way he stopped the second I said wait. 

The way he held me after like he hadn’t wanted anything more than just to keep me safe.

I want to give this to him.

I want to give this to us.

I took a deep breath, reached for the bottle, and pulled the blanket higher over my head like it could protect me from myself.

Here goes nothing.

Elias

I’d just gotten out of the shower when my phone buzzed.

I dried my hands, picked it up, expecting a work update or maybe a text from Alex teasing me.

Instead, it was from her.

Is it okay if… next time… I try being on top?

I stared at the screen. Blinking.

Then I exhaled. And smiled so hard my face hurt.

I leaned back on the bed, ran a hand over my face, and whispered to the ceiling, “God.”

It’s more than okay.

Chapter 83: Again

I want to give, too. –Liana

Liana

I wasn’t doing anything bad.

Okay, maybe that was debatable. But I wasn’t doing it for me

I mean… technically it was my body I was stretching. 

But the goal was very, very us.

It had been a few days since that night. 

Since the night he didn’t finish. Since I couldn’t let him in, not fully.

And I wanted to be ready next time.

So now I was sitting on my bed, legs still trembling slightly, hands clutching a small towel and wiping off the tiny, pen-sized trainer Alex had given me.

It wasn’t glamorous. It was awkward.

But it was for him.

For us.

I heard a knock at the door. I froze.

Then his voice. “Liana? It’s me.”

I panicked.

He wasn’t supposed to be here yet. He was early.

I shot up, scrambled for the nightstand drawer, nearly dropped the little bottle of lube but somehow shoved both items inside and slammed it shut.

Except—

I didn’t realize the bottle had bounced. 

It landed with a soft thud on the carpet near the edge of the bed.

I didn’t notice.

I flung open the door, breathless and smiling like I hadn’t just been half naked and sweaty and dying inside thirty seconds ago.

“Hi,” I said way too cheerfully.

Elias raised an eyebrow. “Hey. You okay?”

“Yeah! Just—getting ready.” I turned quickly, reaching for my bag on the floor.

He stepped inside casually, letting the door swing shut behind him.

“Ready for what?” he asked. “I thought we were just going for lunch.”

I bent down, grabbed my bag, then turned—and stopped.

Because he wasn’t looking at me.

He was looking at the floor. At the thing on the floor.

The thing I didn’t put away.

The small, sleek bottle of water-based lubricant. 

Sitting there like the world’s most humiliating confessional.

Elias blinked. Then bent down and picked it up.

“Is this…”

I covered my face. “Oh my god.”

“Liana,” he said slowly. “Are you—what is this?”

I peeked through my fingers. “I was just—trying to be ready.”

He turned the bottle in his hand, read the label, and then everything clicked in his expression at once. “Oh.”

There was a long pause.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to do this,” I said, louder than intended. “I mean—I want to do it with you. Properly. All the way.”

He stared at me.

I wished I could disappear.

Then I blurted it out. “You said I was too tight.”

His face went slack. “I—what?”

“That night. You said it. ‘You’re so fucking tight.’” I mimicked him poorly, arms flailing like I was dying.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly, shaking his head, walking closer like he had to physically fix my brain. “That wasn’t a complaint, Liana. That was—God. That was me losing my mind, not criticizing you.”

I couldn’t meet his eyes. “You sounded frustrated.”

“I was,” he said, laughing under his breath. “Because you were wrapped around me like heaven and I was trying not to hurt you.”

He stepped closer. Gently took my hands from my face.

“Tight is actually… good. It’s just—fuck, I don’t know how to explain this right. But just know this.”

He kissed my knuckles, his voice quieter now.

“There’s nothing about you I want to change. Not your body. Not anything. You are perfect.”

My throat went tight. I didn’t say anything.

I just leaned into his chest. And he caught me. Instantly.

Wrapped his arms around me like he always did. steady, grounding, warm.

Then I felt his breath in my hair.

“Let me help this time,” he whispered. “Let me love you slow.”

Elias

I laid her back on the bed like she was the most precious thing in the world.

Because she was.

She looked up at me with wide, wet eyes. nervous, open, shaking a little.

But she wasn’t scared. She was here.

She wanted this.

She wanted me.

I kissed her. Soft. Then slower. Deeper.

I let my hands move over her body like I was tracing a poem, like every inch of her skin had a line I needed to memorize.

She sighed, arched up, and whispered, “I want to try.”

I paused.

“Try what?”

She didn’t answer.

Instead, she shifted. And then she moved.

Climbed into my lap.
Knees on either side of my hips.
Breath trembling.

I looked up at her, heart hammering.

“Liana…”

She bit her lip. And then smiled. just a little. Just enough to make my brain short-circuit.

“I want to be on top this time.”

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