Chapter 69: Almost Public
I can’t believe I kissed him. -Liana
Liana
I didn’t know what to wear to a SWAT team cookout.
Alex stared at my closet for three seconds before groaning.
“Girl, you need clothes that aren’t beige.”
She tossed me a cropped knit top and a denim jacket from her side of the wardrobe.
“This. With jeans. Hair half-up. Cute, effortless, not trying too hard.”
I stared at it. “Too much?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’ve seen how Elias looks at you. Trust me, it’s not too much.”
Luca’s house had a backyard the size of a small soccer field, string lights zigzagging overhead and a long folding table already piled with grilled chicken, beer, and someone’s questionable potato salad.
I wasn’t the only civilian there.
there were a few girlfriends, someone’s brother, even a golden retriever named Moose.
I like dogs.
Elias came over and handed me a soda. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s just loud.”
He tilted his head. “Want to leave?”
“No. I want to stay.”
His jaw twitched. Just a little.
Then he touched my lower back, barely a brush, but it anchored me like a tether.
And suddenly the crowd wasn’t so overwhelming anymore.
Someone brought out a cake.
Alex was already tipsy, shouting that Luca was too old to still believe in birthday wishes.
Everyone sang.
I stood a little off to the side, cup in hand, watching Elias laugh at something Hank said.
His head tilted back. His teeth showed. He looked relaxed. He looked… happy.
And he looked mine.
I didn’t think. I just moved. Slipped past the cooler, stepped up beside him.
Waited until no one was looking.
And then, I tugged gently at the hem of his jacket.
“Elias,” she said, voice barely above a breath.
He turned. Leaned down, brow furrowed. “What is it?”
I wasn’t sure if I could actually do this. But I wanted to. Just once.
Then I pressed my lips to his cheek.
Quick. Soft. Warm.
His body went still. Not stiff. Just… paused.
Like the world glitched for a second and forgot to spin.
When I pulled back, he turned to look at me.
Not surprised. Just stunned.
And then, slowly, he smiled. Not a smirk. Not his polite cop-smile.
Something real. Something that made my knees wobble a little.
“Was that for something?” he asked, voice low.
“No…but it felt right” I said softly, my face flushed.
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to.
Because the way he looked at me. Like he could barely stand not touching me back.
Said everything.
Elias
She kissed me.
Not on the mouth. Just a kiss on the cheek.
And it was nothing. It was everything.
I stood there with my beer, heart punching against my ribs like I’d just sprinted a mile in full gear.
I wanted to kiss her back. Pull her into me and let the world see.
But I didn’t.
Because she still wasn’t used to attention.
And I didn’t want to make her feel like a spectacle.
So I just leaned down, brushed my fingers over her wrist, and said
“Next time, I’m picking where.”
And God help me, I already wanted the next one.
Her eyes lit up. “Where what?”
“Where you kiss me.”
She blushed.
Turned back toward the table to grab more chips like she wasn’t shaking inside.
But her smile didn’t fade. And neither did mine.
Chapter 70: Turned out it’s not a secret kiss
I’m not afraid anymore. Because of him. -Liana
Liana
We left just after nine.
The air was cooler than I expected, late winter in L.A. could still surprise you.
I wrapped my arms around myself as we walked down the driveway.
Elias glanced over. Wordless. Then held out his hand.
Not forceful. Not even asking.
Just there.
I stared at it for a second longer than I should’ve.
Then reached for it.
Our fingers fit like they’d been waiting all night.
He didn’t look at me. Didn’t smile.
But I could feel it in the way his thumb gently brushed mine.
The way he didn’t let go.
Not even when we crossed the street.
Not even when the silence stretched.
Not even when my hand got sweaty from nerves and I almost pulled away.
He just held on. Like he meant it.
We reached the door too fast. I didn’t want to let go.
I turned to him, smiling without thinking. “I had fun.”
He tilted his head, waiting.
“It’s my first time going to something like that. With people. I didn’t feel… afraid.”
A pause.
Then I added, quietly “Because you were there.”
His eyes changed. Something flickered. soft, sharp, overwhelmed.
He stepped closer. Close enough to make my breath catch.
His hand cupped the side of my face, warm and solid.
“I’m glad you came,” he said, voice low.
Then he leaned in. And kissed me.
Not rushed. Not hungry. Just firm, steady, like a promise.
My hands curled into the front of his jacket without thinking.
He pulled back just far enough to look at me.
Then brushed his lips against my forehead. “Good night, Liana.”
I nodded, heart pounding against my ribs. “Good night.”
-The Next Morning-
I had barely brushed my teeth when I heard it.
Alex’s voice from the hallway, smug as sin: “I saw you.”
I froze. Toothbrush halfway out of my mouth.
Then she leaned casually against the doorframe, sipping her coffee like it was just another Tuesday.
“I saw you kiss him at Luca’s.”
I choked on my own spit.
“Wh—what?” I sputtered, foam still in my mouth.
She grinned like a wolf.
“On the cheek. In public. Girl, that’s basically second base for you.”
I turned back to the sink and spit, face burning so hot I was surprised the mirror didn’t fog up.
“It wasn’t a big deal.”
“It was the biggest deal I’ve ever seen you make. You tiptoed across a backyard full of cops just to smooch the man like it was a Netflix drama.”
“Alex!”
She shrugged. “I’m just saying. The tension? Palpable. The look on his face after? Tragic romance movie levels.”
I groaned and covered my face with my hands. “I wasn’t even thinking.”
“Exactly.” Her voice softened. “That’s how you know it’s real.”
I peeked at her between my fingers. “He didn’t… freak out.”
“Of course not. He looked like he wanted to frame that moment and hang it over his fireplace.”
I stared at the mirror again. My cheeks were still pink. My lips still tingled.
Alex stepped back toward the hallway, but not before tossing out one last line over her shoulder: “I better start shopping for a bridesmaid dress.”
“Alex!”
“Kidding!”
Pause.
“…kind of.”
Chapter 71: One More Night
Why won’t he touch me? -Liana
Liana
The rain had been coming down since noon.
Now it was almost midnight, and the apartment felt like the inside of a refrigerator.
Alex was out of town for a training weekend.
The heater decided to die.
And I was buried in two blankets on the couch, wearing socks, leggings, and Elias’s old hoodie… still freezing.
I sent a message:
Is it supposed to be this cold? 🥶
He replied in under a minute:
I’m coming over.
He arrived twelve minutes later.
Soaked jacket. Tense jaw. Tools in hand like he was about to fix a nuclear reactor.
He walked in, looked at me shaking under the pile of blankets, and immediately pulled the hood off his head.
“Come stay at my place tonight.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I can’t fix this tonight. It’s too cold. Come on.”
He didn’t wait for an argument.
Just helped me gather my things and grabbed my backpack.
Elias
She hadn’t been back in months.
Not to stay. Not overnight.
Her old room was clean, untouched.
The extra pillows were packed away. The sheets folded. The comforter in storage.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I said as I handed her a glass of warm water.
She looked up, blinking. “But I’m cold.”
I paused.
Then cleared my throat. “I’ll just—make the blanket warmer.”
Sure. Great. Genius.
She climbed into my bed like she used to belong there.
Soft. Small. Wearing that damn hoodie again.
I turned off the lights and lay beside her, careful to keep space between us.
A wide, safe space.
It didn’t last.
Not even ten minutes in.
She shifted. And then her head rested lightly on my chest.
“Is this okay?” she whispered.
I nodded. My voice had left the building.
She nestled closer.
My arm wrapped around her automatically. Instinct. Memory.
I told myself not to hold too tight.
Not to breathe too deep.
Not to notice how warm she was.
How good she smelled.
Then her fingers began to trace little patterns along my forearm.
Light. Barely there.
“You smell like you,” she murmured.
My throat locked. My heart pounded so loud I was sure she could hear it.
Then she tilted her face up.
Those eyes.
Clear. Soft. Entirely unafraid.
She didn’t know what she was doing to me.
Didn’t know the kind of chaos she was pulling loose inside me just by existing in this bed.
“I feel safe with you,” she whispered.
That did it.
My body turned to fire.
I sat up fast. Too fast. “I need to go.”
She sat up too. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” I breathed. “You’re perfect.”
That’s the problem.
I stood, hands trembling. Every muscle in my body pulled tight.
I leaned against the doorframe, closed my eyes.
God, help me.
Just one more night.
I won’t touch her. I won’t ruin this.
Just let me survive.
I stepped out of the room. Closed the door behind me.
And stood in the hallway with my fists clenched, chest heaving, forehead resting against the wall.
My whole body was burning.
But I couldn’t go back in.
Not yet.
Not like this.
Chapter 72: The Question
Does he really want me? -Liana
Liana
The apartment was quiet when Elias dropped me off.
He fixed the heater in less than ten minutes, like it wasn’t the same stupid machine that nearly froze me to death the night before.
Then he asked if I needed anything else.
I said no.
He nodded. And left.
Just like that.
Like nothing happened.
Like he hadn’t held me so tightly I could hear his heartbeat.
Like I hadn’t curled up against him and whispered that I felt safe.
I stood in the middle of the living room for a full minute after the door closed, arms wrapped around myself, brain spinning.
He bacically ran away.
Why?
Did I say something wrong?
Was I too close?
Was he uncomfortable?
I didn’t know. And that was the worst part.
I ended up back in my room, pulling out my laptop, typing into the search bar:
“Boyfriend doesn’t try anything… does he not like me?”
“How long before couples become physically intimate?”
“Why doesn’t my boyfriend want to touch me?”
Half the articles made me feel better. The other half made me feel worse.
Some said it was normal. Some said it wasn’t.
Some said I should be grateful he respected me.
But all I could think about was Scott.
Tall. Confident. Beautiful. And experienced.
I remembered the way she leaned in to kiss him that day.
The way she moved like she belonged beside him.
Maybe that’s what he wanted.
Someone sure.
Someone bold.
Someone not me.
I touched my chest.
Small. Soft. Unremarkable.
I looked in the mirror and wondered if I’d ever be enough.
-The Next Night-
I lasted twenty-four hours before I cracked.
Alex was on the couch, watching some detective show and eating frozen mango straight from the tub.
I walked in. Stood there. Said nothing.
She looked over. “You okay?”
I shrugged. Sat down beside her. Took a breath.
Then said, “Do you think… Elias is avoiding me?”
Her eyes didn’t move from the screen. “Nope.”
I frowned. “Are you sure?”
Now she looked at me. “Liana. The man is obsessed with you.”
“I don’t know…”
“What happened?”
I told her. Everything.
The heater. The cold. The way he held me. The way he didn’t stay.
How I kept waiting for him to say something. Do something. But he didn’t.
And how now, I couldn’t stop wondering if I did something wrong.
Alex blinked once.
Then twice.
Then grinned.
“I’ve been waiting for this conversation.”
I stared at her. “What?”
“You seriously don’t get it?”
I stayed quiet.
Alex set down her mango. Leaned forward.
“Babe. If Elias didn’t want you, he wouldn’t be suffering in silence every time you breathe in his direction.”
I blinked. “Suffering?”
“He’s a man. A very healthy, very repressed man. And he’s been in love with you for years.”
My chest tightened. “Then why—”
“Because you’re you,” she said, gentler now. “And that scares him. Because you’re not just another girl. You’re it.”
My face flushed.
She patted my knee. “The problem isn’t that he doesn’t want you. It’s that he wants you too much and he’s scared of messing it up.”
I looked down. “So what do I do?”
“Tomorrow’s the weekend, right?”
I nodded.
She smirked. “Wear something soft. Stay close. Let him get a little brave.”
I laughed nervously.
“I’m serious,” she said. “Don’t force anything. Just… make space.”
Her voice dropped into a mock-whisper:“Trust me. He’ll figure it out.”
And for the first time in two days, I let myself hope.
Chapter 73: Just Us
I’ve been waiting for this… too long. -Liana
Liana
It was just past 7 p.m. The apartment was quiet.
Alex had “conveniently” decided to sleep over at a friend’s place.
Left a note on the fridge: Don’t wait up. Have fun.
I rolled my eyes when I saw it. Then reread it twice.
Now we were on the couch.
Lights dimmed. A movie was playing.
Neither of us were really watching.
I was curled up beside him, tucked under the same blanket.
Elias’s arm was stretched behind me, not quite touching. until I leaned just a little closer.
That was all it took. His hand slid to rest at my waist.
A warm, steady weight.
He didn’t say anything. Neither did I.
But I felt it.
His breath slowing.
His thumb brushing softly against the side of my sweater.
The way he let his body lean in, just enough to say I’m here without pressing too far.
I closed my eyes.
Not to sleep.
Just to feel.
The scent of him. clean, sharp, familiar.
His body heat like a low, constant fire.
It made something in me ache. And I didn’t want to ache anymore.
I shifted. Turned to face him just enough to rest my hand lightly on his chest.
He stilled. Only for a second.
But I felt it.
Then his hand came up slowly, deliberately, brushing my jaw, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear like I might disappear if he moved too fast.
“Liana,” he murmured.
My name in that voice made my heart thud too hard.
So I said it softly, shakily.“Sometimes I wish you’d hold me longer.”
He inhaled sharply.
His hand trembled where it rested at my cheek.
Then, like something inside him snapped into place, his arms closed around me fully.
I buried my face against his shoulder, the cotton of his T-shirt soft under my cheek, the scent of his skin making my chest tighten in ways I couldn’t explain.
He didn’t ask what I meant.
Didn’t pull away.
Didn’t joke.
He just held me.
For minutes.
Maybe more.
The kind of silence that wasn’t awkward. Just full. Of things we didn’t know how to say.
And still, my heart kept beating too fast. my body wouldn’t stay still.
I shifted again, just enough to lift my face, look at him in the dim light.
His eyes were already on me.
Dark. Steady. Barely breathing.
I didn’t know who moved first. Maybe it didn’t matter.
One moment, there was space.
The next, there wasn’t.
His lips found mine.
No hesitation.
No slow build.
Just heat. And hunger. And something raw.
His hand slid into my hair, tilting my face, deepening the kiss.
I gasped, and he swallowed it.
Tongue sweeping, claiming, then retreating. only to press back in again.
Tasting. Wanting. Testing the edge.
I clutched at his shirt, fingers curling into the fabric as his other hand anchored at my waist, pulling me closer.
Too close.
Not close enough.
My breath caught when he groaned softly into my mouth, the sound low and wrecked and so male it made my legs tremble.
He kissed like he was starving.
And I let him.
Gave in.
Gave everything.
When we finally broke apart, it wasn’t with words.
Just breath.
Fast, shallow, desperate.
His forehead rested against mine. Our chests rising and falling in sync.
The movie was still playing. But the only sound in the room was us.
Breathing.
Barely.
