I’m still here. – Liana
Liana
“Are you sure you’ll be okay here by yourself today?”
Elias asked for the third time as he picked up his keys, glancing at me from the hallway mirror.
I nodded from the kitchen, clutching my mug like it could anchor me.
“I’ll be fine. Really. Miso and I have plans. Very exciting ones. We might even nap.”
He smiled, walked back over, and kissed the top of my head.
“I won’t be long. Text me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
He paused at the door. Turned back. “You locked the back gate last night, right?”
“Go to work, Elias.”
He laughed under his breath. But I saw it, the flicker of worry behind his eyes.
Then the door closed. And the house went quiet.
I stood in the middle of the kitchen for a long time.
Miso padded over, tail swishing against my leg.
I reached down and ran a hand over his head.
“Okay,” I whispered to myself. “It’s just a normal day.”
I made tea.
Folded the throw blankets on the couch.
Checked the door lock. Twice.
Then sat on the living room rug with Miso curled against my side and stared at nothing.
It wasn’t until the third time someone walked by outside that I realized I was holding my breath.
Every sound made my spine stiffen.
A dog barking two houses away? I flinched.
Footsteps near the mailbox? My hand flew to the pepper spray Elias left on the shelf.
I hated this. I hated what my body was doing.
The fear didn’t match the room I was in.
It didn’t care that the walls were safe now. That the windows had security sensors. That Elias was only a few miles away.
My chest tightened. My breath shortened.
I leaned my head against Miso’s and closed my eyes.
But all I could see was—
The cold floor.
The smell of bleach.
The way he looked at me like I was a thing.
A tear slipped down my cheek.
I didn’t even know I was crying until Miso shifted and licked my palm gently.
“I’m okay,” I whispered.
I wasn’t. Not at all.
But I was still here.
I got up eventually.
Went into the study.
Opened the notebook Alex gave me.
Flipped past the page from yesterday.
Wrote, slowly, with a shaking hand:
Day Two.
I survived the silence.
It wasn’t easy.
I still feel like I’m being watched.
But I didn’t call him. I didn’t panic.
I just… felt it. Then let it pass.
I’m still here.
